Maternal Instinct
by Louie0228
Summary: Sam's mother pays an unexpected visit, hoping to spend the holidays with her grandchildren and her son and his wife...things could get a little tricky.
1. Chapter One: The Arrival

**Chapter One: The Arrival. **

"Can I help you?" Violet asked after observing the woman at reception looking lost.  
"I'm looking for Dr Bennett" the woman replied.  
"Oh right," smiled Violet "do you have an appointment?"  
"I don't think I need an appointment dear" the friendly-faced woman replied "I'm his mother."  
"Marion?" Naomi's voice floated across the office, much to the relief of Violet who was glad to be relieved of her mother-sitting duties.  
"Hello dear" Marion beamed as she enveloped Naomi in a hug.  
"Marion, what are you..." Naomi began, her curiosity beating her composure.  
"You didn't think I was going to miss my great granddaughter's first Christmas did you?" Marion smiled.  
Naomi returned the smile and retrieved Marion's bag from the floor.  
"It's so good to see you Marion, Maya will be thrilled. You must be exhausted after your journey, let me get you a drink" Naomi said as she lead Marion to the kitchen. As they left, Naomi quickly looked over her shoulder and mouthed to Violet 'call Sam', whilst miming putting a telephone to her ear. Violet, taking the hint, began to dial straight away.  
Naomi settled Marion on a stool and began to prepare a cup of tea. She needed to speak to Sam, they needed to decide what to do. Marion was an amazing woman, an inspiration and also a devout catholic with strong views on divorce - that being the exact reason Sam had neglected to tell her they'd split up.

"I tell you, Mark Sloan has nothing on Chad, that man has some moves, he does this thing where…"

"Amelia," Naomi interrupted as Amelia and Addison entered the kitchen, deep in conversation, well, Amelia was deep in conversation, Addison was dutifully listening to the merits of Amelia's latest squeeze. "Marion, this is Amelia Shepherd" Naomi began, hoping Amelia would manage to filter for once "Amelia is our neurosurgeon"  
Marion smiled at Amelia and Amelia managed to flash an innocent smile and greet Marion without saying anything disastrous.  
"and this Addison Montgomery" Naomi continued "Addison is a partner here at the practice."  
"Nice to meet you" Addison replied shaking hands with the woman in front of her.  
"Addison, Amelia, this is Marion Bennett," Naomi began "Sam's mother."


	2. Chapter Two: Words of Solace

Addison, yet to reap the benefits of her early morning coffee, silently chastised herself for not paying more attention. Mrs Bennett, of course, she knew she recognised the woman in front of her. Her kind face and the deep seated wrinkles around her eyes pulled at some buried memories from years ago.

"Mrs Bennett," Addison managed "I think we've met before…I"

"I do believe we have dear," Marion smiled "you were at Maya's christening, a friend of Sam and Naomi's"

"That's right," Addison replied, filled with the irony of Marion's last sentence "we were at med school together."

"Hmm," Marion said, nodding "remind me dear, what is your husband's name?"

"My husband," Addison said as she searched for a conversational escape route.

"Derek," Naomi interjected as Addison stalled "Derek Shepherd."

"Derek, of course," Marion smiled "Derek Shepherd, charming man if I recall correctly."

"Indeed," Addison managed to smile as Marion looked to her for a response.

An uncomfortable silence fell across the kitchen.

"Well, nice to see you again Mrs Bennett…." Addison began, regaining her composure and becoming acutely aware of her need to escape.

"Please, call me Marion" Marion interrupted with a smile.

"Marion," Addison corrected herself, her need to escape growing by the second. Was there a chance Naomi was secretly getting some pleasure from watching her fumble under Marion's gaze? She looked up at her friend, who, to her surprise, was looking as painfully uncomfortable as she was. "I have patients," Addison stated "If you'll excuse me I should…." She said as she headed towards the door. On exiting the kitchen she felt the cool air of the corridor instantly sooth her, she just needed to get into her office and hide out until Marion has gone. As she turned to head towards her office she realised she had made a foolish mistake – Amelia was still in the kitchen – she needed to remove her for all their sakes.

"Amelia" she summoned over her shoulder.

Amelia, the only person enjoying unexpected visit from Mrs Bennett, was still standing in the kitchen with an interested grin on her face.

"Nice to meet you Marion" she smiled before catching Naomi's eye and flashing her best mischievous smile. Naomi shot her a glance that warned her to keep quiet and leave.

Once in the safety of her office, Addison perched on the edge of her desk and, using the desk to steady herself, let out a huge sigh – that was not how she had planned on starting her morning!

"Well that was awkward" Amelia smiled from her slumped position on the sofa.

Addison shot her a look that told her that that was an understatement.

"So that's Sam's Mom," Amelia continued "and I'm guessing from that little display that she doesn't know her son is shacked up with his ex-wife's best friend, in fact, I'd say she doesn't even know that her darling son is divorced."

Addison moved towards the sofa to join Amelia, she hated the pleasure Amelia got from seeing her squirm and fret, she only hoped there was a way she would end up seeing the funny side of all this – at the moment she doubted it.

"Sam and I are not _shacked up_" Addison retorted as she sat down.

"Living in sin" Amelia said with a hint of amusement in her voice.

Addison gave up, she could see Amelia was going to be of no use; as usual. A hundred things started to run through her mind, she'd have to get to Sam's house and remove any evidence of her having been there before Sam took his mother home. She did a mental scan of the house, trying to visualise anything incriminating. Her stomach churned as scenes from the morning flashed before her eyes – Sam attempting to explain why the contents of his kitchen work surface were all over the floor filled her with embarrassment.

"Addison," Sam panted as he burst into her office without knocking "I'm sorry I didn't know she was coming, she…I"

"She just turned up this morning" Addison replied as she left her seat on the sofa and headed towards a rather flustered looking Sam.

"I know, she's here for Christmas….for Olivia and…" Sam stopped to catch his breath as he struggled to prevent the asthma attack his mother's unexpected appearance was inevitably about to induce.

"Well, Sam Bennett I never thought it was possible but I think you're even more sexy when you're breathless," Amelia's comment was met with daggers from both Addison and Sam. "Ok, I think that's my cue to leave" Amelia stated as she left the sofa and headed for the door.

Addison stepped towards Sam and closed the space between them. She placed a protective and soothing hand on his arm before leading him towards the sofa.

"Breathe" she ordered as she sat down beside him.

The feeling of Addison's hands on him instantaneously started to calm him, half of his anxiety centred on thoughts of her being mad at him, of being annoyed that, after insisting they told Naomi about their relationship, he hadn't even told his own mother. Her soothing tone and caring hands told him she wasn't mad, that she still wanted to be near him. After catching his breath and calming down, Sam turned his body towards Addison's.

"I'm sorry," Sam said as he made eye contact with her "I'm sorry I haven't told her, I….it's just…she's..."

"Sam, it's ok" Addison interrupted, aware of the anxiety Sam was carrying. "You don't have to explain, I understand" – and she did, this was one thing she could understand, that she could relate to. She was used to keeping secrets from her family, in fact, it was second nature to her; her life was hers and they deserved no explanation or opinion. She did what she could to remain separate from her family – even Archer had let her down, and she respected Sam's right to do the same.

"Addison, I'm not ashamed of us," Sam continued, he owed her an explanation, he wanted her to know why he hadn't told his mother, why he let her think that he and Naomi were still together. "It's just complicated and a phone call doesn't….."

"Sam," Addison said taking his hand in hers and returning his eye contact "I love you."

Sam let out a sigh of relief, he hadn't known it till then but that is what he'd come in to hear. He had to know that she was still there, that his omission about their relationship hadn't given her the wrong idea; that she, despite everything, still loved him. He looked up into her comforting eyes, even after all these years she never ceased to amaze him and the closer he got to her well-guarded core the more he loved her.

"I love you too," he replied before leaning in to plant a small kiss on her waiting lips. "I've got to go" he whispered, not wanting to break the moment between them. "Naomi and I are taking her back to Nae's to see Maya and Olivia. I'll call you later."

Addison nodded as Sam moved away from her and left the room. She looked at the space next to her and felt her heart sink as she contemplated sleeping alone later that night – something she hadn't done in several months.


	3. Chapter Three: Unspoken Comfort

**Chapter Three: Unspoken comfort. **

Sam smiled as he noticed the tear that was welling in his mother's eye as her great granddaughter was handed to her. His mother had always been 'a natural' with children and Olivia was no exception, it was obvious that Olivia was comfortable in her warm, loving arms and she settled instantly, without protest.

"She's beautiful," Marion smiled as she put the arm that wasn't around Olivia, around Maya "just like her mom." She said as she pulled Maya closer to her.

As Sam watched them together he felt a pang of guilt flit across his chest, in moving away he had deprived his mother of time with Maya and with Olivia, time he knew she would have relished. Would things have worked out differently if they had had his mom's help? Could she have helped to prevent Maya's pregnancy? He silently chastised himself for wanting to change what was in front of him, life hadn't turned out the way they had planned but how could he, as he stood there looking at his beautiful granddaughter, wish it to be any other way. His mom had encouraged him to become independent, to follow his heart and his career, no matter where it took him – it was her selflessness and support that made her such a good parent, she had only ever wanted the best for him – but she never wanted him to live his life through her, she had encouraged him, wholeheartedly, to etch out his own path in life and lay his own foundations.

Sam felt Naomi's hand stoke his arm and make its way down to meet his hand as they shared a moment of pride and happiness and looked at their family. If their affection for each other looked real it's because it was – despite what they'd been through they were forever inextricably linked by their child.

Naomi looked at Sam as they continued to uphold the illusion that they were still a happily married couple, he looked happy and contented – it hadn't occurred to her that he missed his mother, that he ever needed anyone other than her. She realised how far they'd come, here they were sharing an effortless moment of happiness with their family, after all they'd been through, all the ways they'd hurt each other, they still supported each other and it came so easily; it felt so right.

"Well," Naomi said, breaking the contented silence and contact with Sam "seeing as we're both surplus to requirements here, we'll make some lunch." She said with a smile, motioning for Sam to follow her into the kitchen.

They entered the kitchen and Naomi began to busy herself, making sandwiches and tea.

"Thanks for this" Sam said, passing her the bread.

"For what?" Naomi asked, although she knew what he was alluding to.

"For, for my mother," Sam tried to explain, trying to avoid the words that were stuck in the back of his throat "for lying" he managed.

"We're not lying Sam," Naomi replied, trying to make him, and herself, feel better about the situation "we're still a family, we still love Maya, support her, and Olivia."

Sam nodded, understanding her point, wanting to believe her explanation for the way they were behaving "but we…..we're not together, we're divorced and I'm….I.."

"And you're with Addison," Naomi finished for him, in a matter-of-fact way, but without any malice. "You can say it Sam, you can say her name, it's ok. You're with Addison and I'm happy for you, for both of you." Naomi did her best to keep her voice from splintering. She really wanted to mean what she said and the more she said it, the more she did – it was just taking some getting used to. "and you don't need to explain this to me Sam, I know how you feel about your mother, how you want to please her, protect her and you and Addison, well, you need time, I know that, you're only just 'you'- you need time to figure it all out, I get that."

Sam, who was slightly taken aback by Naomi's response, realised that this was the deepest conversation they'd had in several months, that Naomi was trying to be ok with him and Addison, she was trying to grow and be the Naomi he knew she was.

"Thanks" he said simply – he knew she'd know he meant it, she knew why he was doing this, what it meant to him – she still knew him, no matter what had passed between them, no matter how much they'd changed, grown a part; she knew him.

* * *

Addison, having spent the morning cleaning and rearranging her office, decided to go and tidy up the reception area – with Dell gone the place had been somewhat neglected and she was constantly having to sort through the disorganised patient files to find what she wanted. She wasn't usually one for cleaning and organising but anything that took her mind off what Sam was doing was on the agenda for today – feeling helpless made her frustrated and tidying and sorting was a good was to channel her frustrated energy.

"You look busy," Pete smiled as she bumped into him the hallway "frustration or guilt?"

"Frustration," Addison replied with a smile. After spending the morning holed up in her office, she was appreciative of a friendly face. "Hello" she cooed, turning her attention to Lucas, who was sitting happily in Pete's arms.

"We're just heading out for lunch," Pete said "you're welcome to join us, Lucas would like to see you," he smiled "and we haven't talked for ages."

Addison considered the invitation and, in contrast to the prospect of cleaning, she accepted Pete's offer.

"I'll just grab my bag." She said, heading back to her office.

"So," Pete said as he settled Lucas in a high chair beside the table "I heard Sam's mom turned up at the practice this morning."

"She's here to see Olivia" Addison answered as she played with Lucas, loving his happy, innocent smile.

"and?" Pete pushed. He knew Addison well enough to know when something was wrong, when there was more to the story than she was sharing.

"and," Addison said, taking a sip of her drink "she still thinks Sam and Naomi are happily married."

"Oh," said Pete simply. "I'm sorry Addison, I…." Pete searched for words of consolation, he knew how much Addison had put into her relationship with Sam, what she had risked, what she stood to lose.

"It's ok," Addison assured him "Sam and his mom, well it's complicated," she explained "I'm not a hit with parents anyway" Addison laughed "Derek's mom hated me."

"Parenting is complicated" Pete remarked, smiling at Lucas.

"Is everything ok? Are you and Violet…" Addison asked, detecting something in Pete's voice.

"Everything is fine," Pete replied "I just…you try to do the best, to be the best parent you can but you don't know, you can't know ,until it's too late, until the damage is done. I just hope I'm getting it right, that I'm being the dad he needs."

"You're a great parent" Addison said, touching his hand "Lucas is lucky. Just don't ever lie to him Pete, don't keep things from him, no matter how much you think they might hurt him, they'll hurt even more when he's older and he realises you've lied to him."

Pete knew Addison had a difficult relationship with her mother and father, she never told him any details, never let him into that part of her life but he knew enough to know that Addison was talking from experience.

* * *

The Bennett household spent the afternoon looking through old family photographs and reminiscing about Maya's childhood. Looking back on their life seemed to sooth both Sam and Naomi, as if seeing hard evidence of their happiness comforted them as they thought about their lives and the decisions that had made. They had been happy, they had been a family, always would be, but now, now they lived different lives, knew other loves and that was ok because their past, and their photos, would always be there. Sam's thoughts turned to his current life and his future – until now, he hadn't considered exactly what Addison was asking for, what she desperately wanted – it wasn't just a baby, a child, it was a future; a family. She wanted the chance to look at old photographs and reminisce about school plays and first Christmases. All he'd thought about were the sleepless nights, the mess, the never-ending tiredness, he hadn't thought about what a family meant to her, what she didn't have. He felt an overwhelming need to be next to her, to tell her he knew he'd been selfish, that he was sorry for being too narrow minded to see how much having a baby meant to her.

"You're not eating Sam," Marion observed as they sat around the dinner table "are you ok?"

"I'm fine" Sam replied, pouring himself a glass of water from the jug on the table.

"You seem distracted" Marion pushed.

"I'm just…," Sam tried to explain, he desperately wanted his mom's advice, wanted to tell her about the wonderful woman he loved, but now was not the time, the place. "I'm thinking about a patient" he lied.

Naomi, detecting Sam's lie, could take a pretty good guess at what was eating him – she knew he hated lying to his mom and knew he would be feeling like a fraud.

"Maya, why don't you and Grandma go bath Olivia" Naomi suggested, attempting to create some breathing space for Sam.

"Ok," Maya smiled as she looked at Marion "she loves having a bath" she smiled as she lead Marion out of the room and upstairs.

"Sam," Naomi said once she was sure Marion was out of earshot. "Are you ok? We can just tell her, I'll tell her if….."

"No," Sam said firmly, but with kindness "this is my mess, she's my mother, I'll tell her, I will, but after Christmas."

"Ok," Naomi answered, not wanting to push him, he had to do this his way, she'd support him but he had to do it his way. "I've invited Addison and Amelia over to dinner tomorrow night," Naomi continued "Addison said you were going out with Cooper and Pete and well, they're on their own and it's Christmas Eve and…I'll call them and cancel, I'm sure they'll understand, it would be awkward for you and Addison and…."

"No," Sam said "let's all have dinner together tomorrow."

"Sam, do you really think that's a good idea?" Naomi questioned, not wanting to see Sam go through another meal time like they'd just had.

"Invite them to dinner," Sam said firmly "they're our friends, I want them here." Sam said as he headed towards the door that lead out into the small garden "I just need to make a phone call" he said before stepping outside.

Sam stood in the fresh air and enjoyed the warm evening sun as it provided some welcome familiarity. He reached for his phone and called Addison. He wanted to tell her that he missed her, that he loved her, but most of all, he just needed to hear her voice and know that she was still there.

"His patient must be feeling better." Marion's voice took Naomi, who had been quietly cleaning away the dinner plates, by surprise.

Naomi's eyes followed Marion's to the patio doors and Sam casually leaning against the garden fence with his phone to his ear. His face certainly looked a lot more relaxed than it had at dinner. He had _that _smile on his face, the one that said he was happy, the one that he had never been able to supress and the one that had so often made her feel like the only woman in the room. It was obvious to Naomi exactly who he was on the phone to.

"He said something about calling a friend" Naomi replied, trying to make light of the situation.

"Must be a good friend," Marion said "to make him smile like that."

Naomi, lost for words, could only smile at Marion and hope that Sam would look through the window and realise he was being watched. She silently thanked the heavens that Marion couldn't hear what Sam was saying – that would raise a few questions!

* * *

Having made sure his mom had everything she needed Sam crossed the landing and entered his and Naomi's bedroom. As he pushed the door open and entered the room he was struck by the fact it was no longer his bedroom; it was Naomi's. Not that he had expected it to be the way he left it but it felt strange to be feel so out of place in a room that had once been so familiar, had been a part of him in many ways. He thought about how sneaky change is, how it creeps up on people whilst they aren't looking, how it is a constant under current which surfaces when you least expect it – just like it did with Maya.

"Shall I…..I can sleep in the spare room with Olivia….." Sam began, suddenly feeling like an intruder in Naomi's bedroom.

"Sam, after all we've been through I'm sure we can spend a night in the same bed" Naomi said with a half laugh.

Sam returned Naomi's smile and headed towards the bed.

Sam looked over at the clock on Naomi's bedside table; 11:45 . He'd been in bed for an hour and all he had done was stare at the ceiling above him.

"Go Sam," Naomi said sleepily as she turned over "just be back for breakfast."

Sam, surprised by Naomi's words, turned to question her but he knew exactly what she meant, she knew exactly why he was lying there wide awake and so did he. He quietly slipped out of bed and dressed in the clothes he had folded onto a nearby chair. He made a mental note to bring some clothes back with him, he couldn't live in the same shirt for the next few days. He tip toed downstairs and quietly unlatched the door and let himself out into the cool night air.

* * *

As Sam pulled into Addison's drive way he was surprised to see the light on in her lounge – he had expected her to be in bed. He navigated the darkened drive and, on finding his way to the front door, he inserted his key into the lock and entered the house. As he walked into the lounge he was greeted by a high pitched scream and a very naked Amelia. He quickly shielded his eyes and turned around as Amelia and her equally naked male friend dived for the cover of the sofa.

"Addison is at your house" Amelia said quickly, for once the young neurosurgeon was lost for words and feeling embarrassed.

Sam, without looking back, escaped the house and headed to his own front door – 'Amelia really needs to get her own place!' He thought as he crossed the drive and reached the safety of his own lounge. His lounge was somewhat quieter and darker and, he noted, much cleaner than he had left it. He made his way to the stairs and crept quietly towards his bedroom, as he approached the door he saw a thin sliver of light escaping underneath the door, she had her bedside lamp on – there was a chance she was still awake. He quietly pushed the door open and saw her in bed reading through some patient notes. He stood in the doorway, looking at her, looking at the way she was smiling at him as he stood there, feeling exhausted but feeling like he had come home, like he was where he belonged. She scooped up the notes and put them on the bedside table and Sam kicked off his shoes and crawled onto the bed and into her arms, he felt all of the day's tension fall away as she pulled him into her body and softly kissed his head and ran her hand up and down his back. They didn't need words, he didn't need to explain, to tell her needed her; she knew.

"Amelia is at your house" Sam said, breaking the silence and leaning back against the pillows.

"I said she could have the house tonight" Addison informed him

"She's definitely making the most of it" Sam smiled as, in retrospect, he was able to laugh about his earlier encounter with Amelia.

Addison chuckled - Sam didn't need to elaborate, she could hazard a guess as to what Amelia was up to.

"Is that why you're over here?" Sam asked.

"Partly," Addison admitted "that, and I was missing you and worried about you and being here, well, it makes you seem closer somehow."

"I'm sorry I'm not here" Sam apologised.

"You are here," Addison said, lightening the mood – it was late and there would be plenty of time to talk about this after his mother had gone home.

Sam removed his clothes and slipped under the sheets beside Addison, the warmth of her body felt comforting and their bodies instinctively entangled, leaving no space between them and giving Addison the opportunity to place small, tender kisses on Sam's lips.

"I'll tell her" Sam said as he returned Addison's kisses and slipped his hand inside her night shirt and touched her soft, bare skin.

"Sam, you don't have to do that" Addison's voice was almost a whisper, not wanting to break the closeness they were sharing

"I'll tell her." Sam said definitively – he was in love with the most amazing person he had ever met and he wanted his mom to know, he wanted her to meet the woman who had shown him life, who had changed him, who had taught him what it is to feel alive and to love in a way he never knew was possible. He wanted her to meet the woman who filled his every thought, the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with;every part of his life.


	4. Chapter Four: Follow your heart

**Chapter Four: Follow your heart.**

"So Naomi and Sam are still together, Sam hasn't got another house, you and Sam are still friends and, hang on – am I still Derek's sister?" Amelia asked as a rather nervous looking Addison drove them to Naomi's house.

"I don't know Amelia," Addison replied "just think before you speak, just…."

"I know; filter." Amelia said with a hint of humour in her voice.

Addison silently cursed Sam for insisting she and Amelia joined them for dinner, having to lie to Marion was bad enough but having Amelia's runaway mouth there too was enough to make her go crazy. She had tried to convince Sam it was a bad idea, that it would be awkward for everyone but he was unmovable, he wanted her there, he wanted her to spend Christmas Eve with her friends; with him. She sought little comfort in the fact that Sam had now changed his plans and invited all of their friends to the dinner – that just meant more people liable to slip up – no one could tell what Cooper might come out with after a few beers! It was going to an uncomfortable evening but it was important to him so she was willing to do it.

* * *

"Hang on, hang on," Addison's voice was raged with nervous as Amelia extended her arm towards the doorbell.

Addison let out a calming, steadying breath and smoothed her dress over her hips.

"Ok" she said in a steady voice, signalling for Amelia to ring the bell.

Dink opened the door with a sleeping Olivia in his arms.

"Everyone is in the lounge" he nodded in the direction of the lounge and the quiet chattering and then disappeared to put Olivia to bed.

To Addison's relief, everyone else had already arrived and the room was filled with pockets of chattering and laughter. She immediately spotted Sam in the corner of the room talking to Pete, she did her best to avoid his eye, she wasn't taking any chances, she would just avoid him for the evening, be civil but not too friendly. Sam, on the other hand, obviously had different ideas as he crossed the room to greet the two women.

"Glad you could make it" he smiled at both of them.

"I wouldn't have missed this for the world" Amelia beamed back at him, a hint of mischief in her eyes.

Addison shot her a dagger filled look.

"Ok, ok," Amelia protested as she threw her hands in front of herself "I'm going to get a drink," She said she started to make her way across the room to where Sheldon was propping up the make shift bar.

"Hey," Sam said, placing his hand on Addison's upper arm "thanks for coming."

"Sam" Addison whispered as she pushed his hand off her whilst scanning the room.

"We're friends Addison, not enemies. I'm only touching your arm" Sam's voice was calm and controlled, he obviously hadn't spent the entire day worrying about what to wear and what to say, like she had.

"Just, let's just get through tonight" Addison whispered as she watched Amelia gulping down a glass of wine. She had been in Naomi's lounge a hundred times, she had many memories of this lounge in fact. When she first arrived in LA and stayed with Naomi the friends had spent many a night drinking red wine and reminiscing over old times – talking about the future too, about what trials and tribulations LA had in store for her – none of which involved running the practice and falling in love with Sam. If there is one thing she had learnt since leaving Seattle, it was to expect the unexpected.

"Mom," Sam smiled as Marion headed towards them "you remember Addison, we were at med school together"

"Yes, we met at the practice," Marion smiled "nice to see you again dear."

Addison felt her cheeks begin to burn as Marion flashed her a warm, motherly smile.

"Nice to see you again Marion" she managed to reply.

"It's nice to see Samuel with all his friends around him" Marion replied with a smile as she looked around and the busy room.

"Mom," Sam said as he placed his arm on Marion's "I don't think I've introduced you to Sheldon Wallace, he's new to the practice and a very good psychiatrist." Sam, seeing Addison about to combust, led Marion across the room towards Sheldon.

Addison, seeing her chance to escape, headed towards the kitchen in the hope of finding Naomi and a place to hide.

* * *

The dinner table was laden with bowls of food and decorations. Addison couldn't help but feel a tiny bit jealous that Naomi was able to play the prefect dinner-cooking, child-baring wife – not a role she could ever properly fulfil herself. She wrestled her feelings back down into her stomach, she was grateful for what Naomi was doing – she could have made it very difficult for her, for both of them but she cared about Sam and, she hoped, about her. Naomi really was a good friend and Addison knew there would be little she could do to repay what Naomi was doing.

"These potatoes are delicious Naomi," Sheldon remarked from the far end of the table as he placed a forkful of mashed potato into his mouth.

"Thank you Sheldon" Naomi smiled in reply.

"Lucas has just decided he hates mashed potato," Violet smiled "which is annoying as it is about the only thing Pete knows how to cook"

"I can cook," Pete corrected her with a humours smile "Lucas just has refined tastes."

Everyone around the table laughed. It was good to see Pete and Violet happy, everyone knew it hadn't been easy for them after Betsey and Pete's brother showing up but they were an example to them all, the way in which they worked through their relationship and put Lucas first.

"At least Pete tries" Charlotte's southern voice emanated form the top end of the table.

"I cook" protested Cooper in a high pitched voice. "Next year, Pete and I will cook Christmas Eve dinner and you girls will eat your words." Cooper said with a sense of pride and achievement.

"Words will be preferable to anything you two are likely to rustle up" Charlotte said sarcastically.

Charlotte's sarcasm elicited a chuckle from the table, Charlotte making light hearted jokes, all be them at the expense of Cooper, wasn't something they ever imagined they'd see again. Charlotte really was starting to heal, she was still closed, still guarded but it was obvious to them all that she was slowly starting to let herself feel again, to let people in – well as much as Charlotte King can let anyone in.

"Ah, sarcasm in the kitchen," smiled Marion who was sat opposite and to the left of Addison and Amelia "the sure sign of a successful marriage. Do you and your husband get on in the kitchen Addison?"

The question was innocent enough, Marion was a kind, friendly woman and it was obvious that she was trying to make conversation with Addison who, up until now, had played very little part in the dinnertime banter. Hush fell across the table as everyone was suddenly very interested in the intricate design of their dinner plates.

"Addison's divorced" Sam's voice was clean and crisp, as if he were simply imparting a coincidental fact.

"Oh, I'm sorry dear I didn't know, I thought…." Marion's voice was calm and collected.

"It's fine" Addison managed with a smile, not wanting to look to her right and catch Amelia's eye, she knew without looking that her ex-sister-in-law would have a grin spread across her face.

"Divorce is a tricky thing" Marion continued, her voice filled with both comfort and wisdom "I hope yours wasn't too painful dear, it is always worse when people are filled with hate and malice. Although of course, it is often hardest on children. Did you and your husband have any children dear?" Marion smiled at Addison, waiting for her reply.

"No, I…..we didn't no" Addison smiled as she felt the room slowly closing in on her, how personal was this going to get?

In the silence that followed, Olivia's well timed cries began to ring out from the spare bedroom a few rooms away. Maya stood up to leave the table, looking around at the multitude of chairs that were squashed around the table and beginning to plan her route out.

"I'll go," said Sam, who was close to the door, "she's probably upset she's missing all the fun" he smiled as he exited the room.

"Well, I hope you've all left room for dessert" Naomi said as she stood up and started to clear the dishes from the table. The evening had gone well so far – apart from Marion's interrogation- and the sooner she served the desert the sooner Addison would be put out of her misery. Regardless of her relationship with Sam, Addison was her best friend, she had been there for her and for Maya and she knew what torture this evening was for her friend, a torture she wouldn't wish on anyone.

"Let me give you a hand," Violet said as she rose from the table to assist Naomi. The tension in the room palpable. Violet wanted to check that Naomi was ok – and catch up on the gossip.

"Yes, you've done all this hard work" Sheldon said as he left his place at the table and picked up a bowl and plate "the least we can do is help."

Sheldon, Violet and Naomi headed towards the kitchen piled with various dirty plates, bowls and dishes.

The sound of Olivia's crying, which had started to dissipate, filled the room once more.

"She's been restless all day," Maya sighed "do you think it could be colic Aunt Addison? She is usually so happy and…" Maya's voice was filled with tiredness and worry.

"I can check her over. "Addison said, attempting to sedate Maya's worries.

"Would you?" Maya asked, sounding like the young girl Addison knew "I'm sorry, I know you didn't come here to…."

"Maya, it's fine," Addison said, glad to leave the table "I'm due a few cuddles anyway."

Maya smiled to herself as Addison left the table, after what Addison had done for her, the she had helped her through the pregnancy, the way she had been there and the way she had saved Olivia's life it was about time she had the chance to pay her back. She had grown up a lot in the last two years and she understood relationships, she understood love and she understood that her mom and dad had reached the end of the road, that their relationship had out grown them and she was happy for her dad and Aunt Addison – they deserved to be happy, just like they wanted her to be.

* * *

Addison stood in the doorway, undetected, watching Sam gently rocking Olivia in his arms. Her heart flitted, causing her breath to snag as she watched him lean over and place a small kiss on Olivia's forehead. She could see the entirety of her hopes and dreams in the room before her, the scene she longed for played out before her eyes. She wondered whether it would ever be their baby he held, whether she would ever be able to share in the joy and delight of loving his child. She composed herself and forced her mind back to reality – or rather the surreal version of it she was enduring – and quietly entered the room, softly closing the door behind her.

"Hello Granddad," she whispered as she faced Sam's back and slid her arms gently around his waist. "She looks peaceful."

"She does now!" Sam said with a smile as he looked down at his granddaughter. He planted a final kiss on Olivia's head and placed her gently into her cot. He looked down at her for a second before turning around to face Addison.

"Are you ok?" he whispered as he neared her, raising his hand to move a stray piece of hair that had fallen across her brow.

"I'm ok now." Addison smiled as she felt Sam's touch begin to relax her. The evening t had made her feel like they were creeping around again, like they were hiding who they were, hiding their love and she was glad to be alone with him, to enjoy the security his touch gave.

"Good" Sam replied, moving his face closer to Addison's "good" he closed the gap between them and guided her lips into a slow, tender kiss. He wanted her to know that he loved her, that tonight wasn't about hiding her or denying her importance in his life, tonight was his mistake, was his mess.

"I'm going to tell her tonight," Sam said as he pulled away from the kiss, and took her hand in his and began rubbing small circles around her knuckle "when everyone has gone I'm going to tell her that I'm in love with the most amazing woman I've ever met." He finished his final sentence with a smile, the same smile he'd flashed her when she'd told him not to stop being 'perfect' – he'd certainly fulfilled that mission in the past few days and he was determined to make it up to her.

Addison wanted to protest, wanted to tell him that it didn't matter to her, that as long as they were together it didn't matter who else knew, who else approved of them – they had been there before and she knew happiness often came at a price, this time she didn't want that price to be Sam's relationship with his mother. She stopped herself, they had been there before, he had told her his reasons, it was important to him that his mother knew, that he was truthful, family mattered to him – it was one of things she found most attractive about him.

"We'd better go," Addison's voice lacked any real conviction. She didn't want to leave, not because of the uncomfortable evening that lay ahead, but because she was right where she wanted to be, tonight and always.

* * *

Addison and Sam entered the room to a barrage of laughter. Sam, wondering what on earth could be so amusing, crossed the room and took his place beside Naomi.

"Your mother was just telling us about when you used to sing in the church choir Sam" Sheldon filled him in, managing to contain his laughter long enough to impart the information.

Sam's face reddened as he realised his mother was sharing those dreaded childhood stories with his friends.

"Samuel had a beautiful voice," Marion reminisced "there was a time when I thought he would join the church – but then medicine came along and he was hooked, well that and Macie Parker."

"Macie Parker?" Violet remarked with a huge grin on her face, she had been listening intently, interested in Sam's childhood.

Sam, knowing what was coming next dropped his head and prayed for the ground to swallow him up.

"Yes, who was Macie Parker?" Pete asked looking at Sam with a huge grin on his face – seeing his friend squirm was undeniably enjoyable.

"Well, Macie was in the church choir with Samuel, she was very committed, always at the church, rehearsing, helping out with the Sunday school. One Sunday, after mass, Samuel asked if he could be excused from our usual lunch to attend an extra choir rehearsal – I knew it was probably Macie's idea but I was pleased that Samuel was so keen – until, that is, I found out why he was so keen." Marion stopped for effect, enjoying the hungry look on her audience provided. "Father Meehan, on returning to the church to collect his book he had forgotten, "she continued, labouring over the details "found Samuel and Macie kissing in the sacristy." Marion's voice was laced with laughter as she told the story.

"Samuel, sneaking around with forbidden women?" Amelia suddenly felt all eyes on her – not least Addison's. She flashed a mischievous smile before taking a gulp from her wine glass.

Cooper, unable to stop the smile that was spreading across his face, buried his face in his glass of wine he, unlike Amelia, didn't want to make things any worse for Sam although the irony of the story made for fantastic entertainment and provided plenty of ammo for office jokes for the next year or more.

Addison, wondering if this night could possibly get any worse, had an overwhelming desire to tell a few childhood stories of her own about Amelia.

"Well," Violet said as she raised herself from where she was sat on the floor "we have a babysitter who is likely to put Lucas out on the street if we don't get home." As much as she had enjoyed the evening, Amelia's inability to filter was becoming increasingly dangerous.

"We should be making a move too" Charlotte said, following Violet's lead.

"I want to hear more about Sam's childhood…." Cooper smiled, without standing up.

Charlotte glared at Cooper, a glare that Cooper had come to know, and love – when he wasn't on the receiving end of it. Taking the hint, Cooper reluctantly hauled himself from the floor.

"We should get going" he remarked "thanks for a lovely evening Naomi, Samuel" he couldn't resist the temptation to joke with his friend.

Taking their cue, everyone followed Violet's lead and abandoned their seats and drinks, wished each other Merry Christmas and headed for the door.

"Lovely to meet you Mrs Bennett," Amelia beamed as she stood up to leave. "you must tell us about more of Sam's exploits sometime, and maybe we can tell you about some of the things he's…."

"Amelia" Addison's voice was firm and authoritative.

"That's my cue to leave" Amelia whispered to Marion before tiptoeing away and heading for the front door, with Addison following closely behind.

Sam, anxious to grab a last moment with Addison before she left followed them out into the drive and pulled the door half closed behind him. Amelia and Addison stood on the doorstep waiting for Sam to speak. Addison reached into her pocket, pulled out her car keys and dangled them in front of Amelia.

"I guess I'll wait in the car" Amelia said sarcastically before heading off down the drive to Addison's waiting car.

"Olivia is less trouble than her" Sam smiled, attempting to lighten the mood.

Addison smiled, knowing that Sam had not come out into the night to talk to her about Amelia – he was nervous, she could sense it. She wanted to do something to soothe him but she knew this was something he wanted to do; needed to do. All she could do was support him, be there; like she had needed him to be.

"Will you call me later?" Addison's voice was quiet and whispery, showing the sweet vulnerability that Sam loved.

"I'll call you." Sam replied.

Sam felt his stomach lurch knowing what he was about to face, he didn't want to lose his mom, her support, her approval, but she had taught him to act with his heart and it had been good advice. His heart had told him things weren't working with Naomi, his heart had told him to support Maya through her pregnancy and his heart had told him that Addison was his future, that she was worth anything he had to overcome to be with her and it had been his heart that had kept him persistent in his pursuit of her and his heart that had led him to be standing in the driveway of his old house wanting to scoop her up, take her home and spend the night showing her how right his heart had been. He watched drive into the night before taking a deep breath and stepping back into the house.


	5. Chapter Five: Anticipation

**Sorry to everyone who has been waiting for this – I stupidly left my laptop power cable half way across the country after the Christmas break. I was going to post the rest as one chapter but thought I would split it into two so that I could get something posted straight away. The last chapter will follow this one.  
**

**Chapter Five: Anticipation**

The hallway suddenly seemed narrow and constricting as Sam stepped back through the door and steadied himself. He felt the walls closing in on him as he thought of what lay ahead, he composed himself. He had to do this, he had to step up and be the man his mother had bought him up to be.

He found his mother alone in the kitchen drying up the remaining pots and pans from the meal. He grabbed a cloth and began to help.

"I told Naomi to go and spend some time with her granddaughter, she has done more than enough this evening." Marion smiled as she ran the cloth over the damp pan handle before placing it on the table ready to be put away.

Sam felt like a small boy again, pestering his mother in the kitchen and being called upon to help with the washing up. He wasn't a boy anymore, he was a man, a strong man, a man who was usually so sure and confident – that was what he needed to be now.

"Mom," Sam said as he took a large intake of breath "I'm going to tell you something and, and I need to you to realise that Naomi and I, we never meant to hurt you or disrespect you, that in not telling you we were trying to protect people that we care about, that we love."

Marion stopped what she was doing and looked at Sam, giving him her full attention.

"Naomi and I are divorced." Sam's voice came out stronger than he had expected, he sounded almost confident, decisive – he had expected his voice to be a whimper, just like it was when he was 12 and told her he'd punched a boy at school.

"I know," Marion replied with air of simplicity before reaching for another glass from the drainer.

"You knew?" the tone of Sam's voice had risen slightly now but was filled more with awe than surprise.

"Now you know Catholic priests are partial to a good bit of gossip Samuel" Marion's voice chastised him but never lost its kind tone. "and well, it was only natural that Maya turn to me when you and Naomi divorced"

Sam felt a burst of shame and regret – Maya had lived through the divorce too and of course she had needed someone to talk to.

"Why did you….why didn't you say anything?" Sam questioned as he watched his mother dry a fork and drop it into a nearby drawer.

"I knew you'd tell me when you were ready" Marion replied, in a voice that reminded Sam that she knew him better than he knew himself.

"But divorce, you always said…." Sam was surprised by his mother's reaction, by her non-reaction.

"I always said a lot of things Samuel," Marion said, a hint of exhaustion in her voice "and I believe in the sanctity of marriage but I also believe in happiness. I like to think I bought you up to follow your heart Sam, to be a good man and do the right thing – you could have stayed in your marriage, you could have carried on being unhappy for years but you were smart enough to know, to follow your heart and to give yourself and Naomi another chance, another chance to be happy."

Sam was shocked by his mother's words – it was as if in that moment he had suddenly come of age, as if he had been let into a place in her life that she had kept private and guarded.

"But you knew coming here would force me to tell you" Sam said, feeling his mother was open to discussing this with him.

"I came here to see my granddaughter," Marion corrected him "if you hadn't told me things would have been just the same – I knew you'd come to me when you were ready. I raised you to be independent Sam – and you always were"

"You raised me to be man, Mom and I'm grateful for that, I'm proud of who I am and where I've come from. Just the same as I'm proud of my family, of Maya and of Olivia," Sam wanted to tell her she'd got it right, that she'd bought him up to be all she had envisioned, that he was strong and independent. "And I follow my heart and my heart has lead me to my second chance"

"Well Maya certainly likes her," Marion said in a matter of fact way "although I hope she's usually more relaxed than she was this evening"

Sam smiled, after Marion's first reaction he had half expected that his mother already knew.

"So Maya told you about Addison too" he managed to smile as he felt a huge weight lift from his shoulders.

"Maya told me a lot of things," Marion smiled as she put down the cloth she has holding and moved closer to Sam. "You're exactly the man I raised you to be Samuel and I'm proud of you. You've put your family first and you've seized your chance at happiness." She said lovingly as she fiddled with the collar of his t-shirt "I did have my doubts back there" she smiled "sending Addison off to spend Christmas alone with only Amelia to share it with."

A grin spread across Sam's face – his mother really didn't miss a thing.

"It would be nice for me to meet her properly tomorrow – if she doesn't mind that is, I promise to lay off the questions about her ex-husband" Marion said with a glint in her eye. "Now go," she instructed in her best motherly voice "you can't put a girl through an evening like that and then just send her home alone" Marion smiled.

Sam dropped the cloth he was holding onto the kitchen table and leant forward to place a kiss of Marion's soft cheek.

"Thank you" Sam's voice was fuelled by the overriding respect he had for his mother. "Will you come to dinner at mine tomorrow?" he smiled in response to his mother's earlier request

"I'd love to" Marion smiled.

* * *

After taking the precaution of texting Addison, in order to prevent a repeat of the embarrassment he had suffered the last time he had tuned up at her house unexpectedly, Sam quietly pulled into Addison's driveway. He could hear the TV purring quietly in the corner as he entered the lounge.

"Hello" Addison's voice came from the kitchen where she was preparing two glasses and a bottle of wine.

Sam, happy to hear her soft voice, made his way around the kitchen counter "Hello" he smiled as he put his keys down on the kitchen side before standing in front of her and running his hands over her hips and along the side of her body.

Addison's skin immediately reacted to his touch as a tingling sensation swept across her body. Sam's hands began to explore her back and shoulders, he wanted to feel every part of her – sometimes he felt as if the past few months had been a dream and touching her reminded him it was real, reminded him that she was his, that he was allowed to touch her, to kiss her, to show her how much he loved her.

"I told my mom about us" Sam whispered as he moved closer to Addison, bringing their lips close to touching but maintaining a tantalising distance between them.

"and?" Addison's voice shook a little.

Sam couldn't help but let his award winning smile take over his face, he let out a small laugh before saying "Maya had already told her"

Addison couldn't help but let a laugh escape from her lips as Sam broke the news. They both looked at each other with relief and amusement plastered on their faces. Sam looked at Addison as she laughed, it hadn't thought it possible for her to be any more stunning but as he watched the way she laughed with her eyes he was taken aback once more by her beauty. He moved his lips even closer to hers and her lips changed from a smile to a tremble as they awaited his kiss. He could feel her jagged breath on his face and he was overcome with the need to feel her skin on his. He closed the remaining space between them and kissed her slowly and lightly, inviting her to kiss him back. Her lips responded almost instantly, she returned his kiss with giddiness as the hairs on the back of her neck stood on end. With unexpected force Sam lifted her off the floor and push her onto the kitchen counter she had been leaning against, he positioned himself between her legs as he undid the top button of her shirt and pushed it off her shoulders, revealing her tanned shoulders and black bra straps. Addison's breath snagged in her throat as Sam began to kiss her neck and shoulders, she was reminded of the time he had kissed her on the deck after she'd told him he was 'good cake', the night he had been unable to control his emotions and had thrust her against the fence before holding her firmly and kissing her with a passion they'd both been trying to hide. She was bought back to the present as Sam's tongue traced circles around her ear – they didn't have to hide their passion anymore, they were free, free to kiss each other, to be together, to make love to each other; they were free to spend the rest of their lives together.


	6. Chapter Six: Changing Times

**Chapter Six: Changing Times**

Addison woke to find an empty space next to her, as her senses returned she became aware of the shower running in the nearby bathroom. Sooner after, the pipes rang out as Sam turned off the shower and headed back to the bedroom. Wrapped in only a towel, he crossed the room and sat down gently on the end of the bed. As he sat there catching his breath as he cooled down from his hot shower he felt small soft kisses being planted on the small of his back and spreading up the length of his back and towards his shoulders. He let out a soft, small groan of pleasure as Addison pressed her body against his back and kissed his ear.

"I thought you were asleep" he smiled as she draped her arms around his shoulders and planed a kiss on his cheek.

"I can go back to sleep if you want….." Addison left him and began to crawl back under the covers.

Sam, smiling at her teasing turned quickly and grabbed her by the legs and pulled her back across the bed towards him. He swung his legs over either side of her body and looked down at her. He saw Addison respond to his presence with a look of anticipation. He smiled as he planned his next move – two could play at teasing. He shot her an alluring look before slowly moving his face closer to hers. He felt her breath quicken as her body rose and fell beneath him. He maintained eye contact with her as he homed in on her ear, just as he had done the night before. He hovered inches above her ear, teasing her with his warmth breath, he knew what she was expecting, what her body was anticipating.

"Merry Christmas," he whispered into her ear before quickly withdrawing his body and jumping up from the bed and heading towards his wardrobe to get his clothes.

Addison laughed as he disappeared – she'd walked right into that one. She flopped back into the sheets with a contented smile on her face.

Half an hour later, Sam was dressed and ready to leave Addison's house.

"Are you sure you'll be ok here, I'm sure Naomi wouldn't mind if you came to dinner…" Sam said to Addison as he took a sip of coffee from the cup Addison had poured for him.

"I'll be fine" Addison replied from the table at which she was having breakfast "Maya deserves a Christmas with her mom and dad. Plus, I need time to work on my mother charming skills" Addison smiled as she stood up to straighten Sam's tie.

"Just be yourself and she'll love you" Sam smiled as he put his arms around Addison's waist "not as much as I do though" he smiled before breaking their embrace and retrieving his keys from the kitchen table.

* * *

As Sam entered Naomi's lounge he was surprised to see Fife bouncing Olivia up and down.

"Sam, Merry Christmas" Fife smiled as Sam entered the room.

"Merry Christmas" Sam replied, hoping he had managed to disguise the surprise in his voice. It hadn't occurred to him that his mother's visit had caused Naomi to keep secrets of her own.

"Don't worry," Fife assured Sam "I'm not encroaching on your family Christmas, I just stopped by to say Merry Christmas."

"Daddy," Maya's voice broke the awkward silence that was about to fill the room. She appeared at the door of the lounge, her face beaming with excitement "Merry Christmas."

Sam was taken back to Maya's childhood as she threw her arms around him and enveloped him in a hug. It was good to see Maya excited, to see her happy and smiling. He knew that she had grown up, that she was an adult but she would always be his little girl.

**

* * *

**The Christmas lunch that Maya and Naomi had prepared proved to be a much more enjoyable affair than the dinner they had all endured the night before. The conversation consisted mostly of memories from past Christmases and more embarrassing stories of Sam's childhood. Marion had commented on how pleasant Fife was, she had called him Naomi's 'friend' but Sam knew his mom didn't miss a trick and shot her a glance that told her not to probe any further.

Following an afternoon of mince pies and board games Naomi left to take Maya, Dink and Olivia to visit Dink's mother and Marion and Sam headed across town to Sam's house.


	7. Chapter Seven: Scary is Good

**Chapter Seven: Scary is good. **

Addison checked herself in the full length mirror for what seemed like the hundredth time – she had been pacing Sam's living room for the past half an hour, preparing to meet Marion properly. She suddenly understood what it must be like for the relatives of her patients, feeling helpless, out of control, their world in the hands of someone else. She moved over to the window and looked out into the cold December night, she reminded herself that it was just one night, that it was just one meal – she could get through it.

Sam, knowing that Addison would be experiencing the longest half an hour of her life, put his key noisily into the lock on the front door – affording her a chance to take a deep breath and steady herself.

At the sound of the key turning in the lock Addison smoothed her dress over her hips and planted a welcoming smile on her lips. Her anxiety filled silence was infiltrated as a happy and chatting Marion entered the house, followed closely behind by Sam.

"Addison," Marion smiled as she stepped into the warmth of Sam's house "nice to see you again dear" Marion's voice and smile were both genuine and showed Addison that, despite the previous day's interrogation, she was a kind and gentle woman.

"Marion," Addison replied, returning the smile "I'm glad you could come."

"Well, I don't know where that son of mine gets his ideas from but I for one wasn't going to see you spend Christmas alone." Marion smiled as she moved closer to Addison.

Addison, unsure how to react to Marion's comment, found her eyes connecting with Sam's. Sam flashed her a smile that told her that Marion was teasing and meant no harm.

"Sit down and let me get you a drink Mom" Sam offered in an attempt to take the heat off Addison.

"Thank you Samuel" Marion replied as she made her way to the sofa and took a seat.

Addison, thankful for Sam's quick thinking, felt a brief moment of relief before she realised Sam was about to leave her and Marion alone. She took a deep breath as she watched Sam leave the room and head to the kitchen.

"Come and join me Addison" Marion ordered kindly, she could feel the young woman's apprehension and wanted to make her feel more comfortable. Unbeknownst to Addison, she already had Marion's approval – Maya had made certain of that. It seemed this woman was loved, in one way or another, by every member of the Bennett family, not least by her son, that much was obvious!

"Sam tells me that you're very accomplished in your line of work" Marion began, hoping to make Addison fell comfortable.

"I enjoy my work" Addison managed to smile.

"Your expertise helped Maya and Olivia," Marion stated "I'm glad you were there" Marion continued "Maya means a lot to me, she has grown up so quickly"

Addison was struck silent by the sudden change in intensity, she was comfortable talking about her work, about the practice, but Marion had made the conversation personal quicker than she'd expected.

"I…. Maya…" Addison started, she wanted to tell Marion that she cared about Maya too, that the night Olivia was born was one of the darkest times she'd experienced but also one of the greatest because it had been that night that she had given herself to Sam, that she had laid herself and her heart in his hands and prayed that she could be what he deserved. Her voice remained buried as Marion looked at her, waiting for her to say something.

"I hope you still like your Christmas sherry," Sam smiled, breaking the awkward silence as he entered the room clutching a glass of sherry in one hand and a glass of red wine in the other.

Addison took a breath as the tension eased, she chastised herself for not being able to say what she felt; for letting Marion sit there expectantly.

"Perfect Samuel, thank you" Marion smiled as she took the glass from Sam's hand.

"Addison and I were just talking about Olivia's birth" Marion smiled as Sam handed Addison the glass of wine from this other hand.

There was a silence in the room as the words echoed between the three of them.

"Oh" Sam replied. He guessed that Marion had done most of the talking as he knew that Olivia's birth and Dell's death wasn't something that Addison was ready to talk about. In the weeks following the accident he had tried to talk to her about it, had tried to thank her for what she did for Maya but the moment he mentioned it she shut down and backed away, he knew it wasn't healthy but he knew it was Addison's way and he was sure that in time they would be able to talk about it.

Marion felt the atmosphere in the room change, it was obvious that it wasn't a topic either of them wanted to discuss with her. She remembered Maya mentioning a friend that was hurt in the accident although she hadn't elaborated either, realising it was a subject best left alone she decided to change the subject and lighten the atmosphere

"Such a splendid view you have here Samuel," Marion remarked positively as she left her seat and headed towards the patio door "I always find the ocean so comforting and consoling, I find it helps to put things into context. I must be delightful in the summer."

"Yes it's beautiful" Sam replied, thankful that his mom and recognised the need to change the tone of the conversation.

"And what about you Addison? Where do you live? Somewhere just as spectacular I'm sure."

"l live next door actually" Addison smiled.

"Ah, the girl next door" Marion smiled.

Addison blushed, she wasn't sure a failed marriage, an abortion and an unhealthy dependence on red wine were quite 'girl next door' attributes.

Sam smiled as he watched Addison blush and squirm, she was sweet and beautiful, that was for sure but innocent? Not so much!

"You should visit in the summer Mom," Sam smiled "see the view for yourself."

"That would be nice" Marion smiled.

* * *

"That was lovely Sam, thank you" Marion remarked as Sam took her plate from the table "I see you did pay attention in the kitchen when you were a boy."

Sam smiled as he headed towards the kitchen with the plates.

"I fancy a bit of air" Marion said as she stood up "will you join me Addison?"

Addison, knowing she couldn't hide any longer, stood up and accepted Marion's invitation. She crossed the room and grabbed their coats.

As she closed the sliding doors behind them Addison felt the cool wind ripple around her bare neck, she wished she had had the sense to put her scarf on. She thought about slipping back inside and grabbing it but she knew Marion would interpret it as her trying to stall, avoiding the inevitable, the 'Sam' conversation. She tightened her shoulders and pulled the collar of her coat around her neck.

The two women walked towards the beach in relative silence. Addison looked at the ocean, she envied Marion's vision if it because to her, the vastness of it made her confused and uncertain, reminded her of all the nights she had sat on her deck deliberating about her and Sam. During those long lonely evenings it wasn't perspective and clarity she was looking for, it was pure strength, the strength to stop herself from going over to his house and collapsing in his arms.

"Do your parents visit often Addison?" Marion said as they walked slowly across the sand.

"No, they, well, they're busy" Addison smiled "we live separate lives"

"Oh, I'm sure that's not true dear," Marion smiled "a mother and her child, they can never truly live separate lives" Marion remarked kindly "no matter how hard they try."

Addison smiled; Marion hadn't met Bizzy and The Captain!

"When you're a mother Addison you're never separate from your child. No matter where they go, what they do, who they love, a mother and her child are always inextricably linked. You never know anyone else like you know your child. Just like I always knew Sam was going to be a doctor."

"He never wanted to be anything else?" Addison enquired, drawn in by the conversation.

"From the age of about thirteen it was all about medicine," Marion reminisced "it went over my head, the books he read, the documentaries he watched" Marion laughed happily.

"Sam is a good doctor" Addison stated softly "and a good man."

Marion smiled. Addison had finally cracked, had managed to say something that was more than a polite pleasantry.

"He is" Marion replied "which is exactly why he was able to do the right thing with Naomi. It takes a good man to admit when things aren't going right, to act in the interest of his family's happiness."

"He and Naomi…" Addison began

"Sam and Naomi were young" Marion sighed "I knew that at the time but they loved each other and I had to let them do it. Turns out it was one of the best things Samuel ever did – a beautiful daughter, a stunning granddaughter and years of happy marriage. But they were young, they didn't know themselves. People change and grow and not always in the same way and at the same time."

Addison looked over at Marion and saw her for properly for the first time, she was wise – sure she was intelligent but she had something that could never be learnt in a lab or in the O.R.; she had life experience.

"Naomi and Sam achieved amazing things together," Addison remarked "the practice was their vision, they built it together, made it what it is today."

"They did" Marion agreed "but that doesn't mean that they can't build things with other people, that you and Sam can't build something together – achievements come in all forms Addison, not just bricks and mortar."

"Sam and I, we're…." Addison searched for the words she so desperately wanted to share with Marion "we don't have that partnership, we…"

"Of course you don't dear" Marion kindly "you're still getting to know each other, to trust each other. I know you've been friends for a long time but taking that step, letting someone into all parts of your life, of your heart, that takes time."

Addison didn't attempt to hide the smile that passed her lips, Marion knew her better than she knew herself – a trait her son had inherited.

"I can't say whether you and Sam will make it or not Addison" Marion said kindly as she slipped her arm into Addison's "but I know that you'll try, I can tell from the way he talks about you that you'll try and that is the most important thing. People who think that love is effortless haven't been in love, love is bitter sweet but if you can work together to weather the bitterness then the sweetness is more than can be imagined."

* * *

Sam smiled as he watched Addison and Marion embrace on his doorstep, he wasn't sure what had been said between the two women and he was pretty sure he'd never know the full story but he was happy to see Addison relaxed with is Mom.

"Don't forget that summer view" Addison smiled and she released Marion.

"I'm already looking forward to it" Marion smiled "Bye Addison and Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas Marion" Addison smiled as she shut the car's passenger door and watched the car disappear into the night.

Addison exhaled as she stepped back into Sam's empty house, she knew he wouldn't be long dropping Marion off and so she decided to pour them both a glass of wine and wait for him to return.

As she took her shoes off and curled onto the sofa she thought about what Marion had said about her and Sam, she knew relationships took work- she had learnt that a long time ago, but this time, this time it was different – Sam was different. She realised now that Derek and Mark had been too scared to push her, to challenge her, but Sam wasn't scared of her and he made her face up to the things that scared her, with Sam she knew she couldn't run away. He made her stronger, he made her accountable for her actions; he made her a better person. A feeling of fear and inadequacy fell over her as she thought of how much she had grown in the short time she and Sam had been together and doubted her ability to be for Sam what he was for her. She knew, beyond doubt, that she loved him, that she wanted to be strong and faithful for him but he made her feel so new, so different that she couldn't predict how she would act, it was as if she was learning to be herself all over again, except this time there was nowhere to hide.

Addison's thoughts were interrupted as Sam let himself back into the house. He slipped his shoes off and made his way over to the sofa.

"Hello," Sam smiled as he crawled onto the sofa beside Addison.

"Hello" Addison smiled back. A smile spread across her lips as she looked at him, it was just a word, a word they said to each other often but it was much more than a greeting, it was their way of reminding each other that they were not alone, that no matter how crazy the day got, no matter what they encountered they would always have each other's arms to go home to.

Sam looked at Addison, he thought about what she had done for him, how accepting she had been of the mess he had made. He felt his stomach leap as he thought of how close they had come to missing out on this chance, on the chance to make each other happy. He reached behind his back and fingered the present he had brought in with him.

"Merry Christmas Addison" he said with a soft smile as he passed the present to her.

Addison smiled as she took the gift, just time alone with Sam had seemed like enough of a gift, she had been sharing him all week and the chance to have him all to herself felt special. She ran her finger under the fold in the wrapping paper and felt the paper unfurl in her hand. The paper fell away and she was presented with a brown leather bound book, she turned it over to look at the front. Her stomach churned and she could feel the colour leave her cheeks and she saw the carefully written words 'Our Family' staring up at her. With trembling hands she gripped the leather cover and opened the book, she found small clear plastic pouches lying ready to receive photographs. Addison's world seemed to stop, everything around her seemed to lose its colour, she stared at Sam through her watery eyes wondering what he was trying to tell her.

"So we never miss a moment" Sam smiled "with our family, with our child."

A sound somewhere between a laugh and a gasp of surprise escaped Addison's mouth, she had accepted Sam's reasons for not wanting a child yet, she knew, that despite her longing for a child, he needed time. She felt her heart quicken as she thought of the journey ahead of them, both of them knew it wouldn't be easy, that their relationship would be tested but she knew that they were strong enough, that she was strong enough.

"What made you?...you said" Addison had a thousand questions swimming around in her head, what had changed his mind?

"It was never a case of 'if' Addison, only 'when'" Sam explained "I know there is nothing we can't achieve together Addison but the thought of having another child after what happened with Maya and with Olivia, well….." Sam, uncharacteristically searching for words, tried to explain "I was scared"

Addison moved closer to Sam and took his face in her hands, she felt the cool tears sliding down her cheeks now "I'm terrified" she admitted with a smile "but the last time I let fear take over I almost missed out on this" she explained, referring to their relationship.

"Scary is good" Sam smiled as he moved closer to Addison and pressed his forehead against hers and took a deep breath.

"Scary is good" Addison replied with a smile before leaning in and indulging in the kiss she had been waiting all day for.

**Thanks to everyone who has reviewed the story.**


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